Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse that can have profound psychological effects on its victims. It happens in a relationship between a narcissist and their victims. The victim of narcissistic abuse could be a child, a sibling, a romantic partner, a friend, a co-worker, or anyone else.
A person might go through a tremendous amount of abuse without being aware of it. Narcissistic individuals are often highly manipulative and tend to try to create a false narrative to justify their actions and to exert control. Being a victim of narcissistic abuse could be very psychologically damaging and could result in symptoms that resemble post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Over time, the cumulative impact of the tactic’s narcissists use can have lasting effects on a victim’s self-esteem, sense of self, and overall mental health. One of the most damaging aspects of narcissistic abuse is that while it is happening the victim might not realize that it is abuse. Narcissistic individuals tend to distort reality and project themselves as perfect human beings. They are very effective at making their victims doubt themselves and create feelings of guilt and shame within them. In this article, Bella Pahlevan talks about the effects of narcissistic abuse on mental health.
1-Loss of self-esteem
One of the most common psychological effects of being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist is loss of self-esteem. People with narcissistic behaviors are skilled at belittling their victims and making them feel inadequate. They may criticize their appearance, intelligence, or abilities, leaving their victim feeling worthless and undeserving of love and attention. Over time, this can erode a victim’s self-esteem to the point where they may feel powerless and helpless. The victim might find that her self-esteem has diminished to the point where she or he can no longer recognize herself. Victims are made to feel that everything they do is somehow flawed. No matter how much the victim tries to please the narcissist it is never enough. Gradually, thoughts of not being good enough become more and more prominent and repetitive in the victim’s mind.
2-Isolation
Another common effect of being in abusive relationships is a sense of isolation. People with narcissistic traits often isolate their victims from friends and family members, using tactics like triangulation and smear campaigns to turn people against them. This can leave the victim feeling alone and unsupported and can make it difficult for them to seek help or support.
3-Dissociation
Victims of narcissists might start to feel detached from selves in the midst of an argument or an episode of abusive behavior from the narcissist. Dissociation might show itself as a loss of memory or feeling numb and not being present. Dissociation can also be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder. Dissociation is the attempt of our nervous system to protect itself when the situation is highly distressing. It is a survival mechanism and can cause reality to be experienced as fragmented. Dissociation can lead to emotional numbing when something terrible is happening around us and we feel unable to help ourselves or to escape.
4- Walking on eggshells
Narcissistic abuse survivors might find themselves thinking about ways to avoid making the narcissist in their lives angry or upset. Avoiding upsetting the narcissist can become a daily part of the victim’s life and a source of constant stress. Victims might develop an anxiety disorder as a result of not knowing when the narcissist will explode or what will be the next punishment that’s waiting for them. Victims of narcissistic abuse might feel that they are walking on eggshells around their abuser. Victims might try different ways to avoid making the narcissist upset. The various ways to cope with narcissistic abuse could be by overextending themselves and people-pleasing behavior, or making themselves small so that they are not in the way. Not having any needs and learning that they are not allowed to express themselves is another way of shrinking oneself.
5- Sacrificing basic needs
A narcissist is usually primarily concerned with fulfilling her or his needs. Victims are often used to fulfill the narcissist’s needs. They are treated in a way that constantly reminds them that their needs no matter how basic they are or insignificant and unimportant compared to the needs of the narcissist. Victims might find themselves in a position where they realize their entire life is revolving around satisfying the many needs of the narcissist in their lives. They might realize that they have placed their goals, desires, hobbies, and personal relationships on hold just to make sure that they can be there available when the narcissistic individual needs them. The problem is that regardless of how much is sacrificed for them it’s never enough and the narcissist is never satisfied.
6- People pleasing
In a narcissistic relationship over time, the victim learns that their main goal is to please and satisfy the narcissist. In an attempt to make them happy or to avoid being overly criticized or abused victims learn that if they go along with what not the narcissist wants it will make life easier for them as well. After many unpleasant experiences and getting invalidated over and over victims might to come to the conclusion that the way they think and what they feel is inaccurate so it’s best to keep it to themselves.
7- Self- doubt
One of the most common symptoms of narcissistic abuse is self-doubt. The narcissist often makes victims believe that their experiences and their version of reality are not valid. Narcissists accomplish this by gaslighting and manipulative behavior. This can make victims have difficulty trusting their own judgment and intuition. In many cases, narcissistic parents raise children that have difficulty making decisions or at times are unsure of what they want because they haven’t been allowed to have an opinion or have never been validated in regard to how they feel and the choices that they make.
8- Depression and anxiety
Narcissistic abuse can also lead to anxiety and depression. Victims might experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and struggle to find joy in life when their sense of self is under constant attack. The constant stress of living with a narcissist can take a toll on a victim’s mental health and may lead to chronic anxiety and depression.
In some cases, narcissistic abuse can also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If people are exposed to long-term abuse over a lengthy period of time they might develop complex PTSD. Symptoms can include flashbacks, nightmares, and intense feelings of fear and anxiety long after the abuse has ended. They may have difficulty in forming meaningful relationships and may experience feelings of loneliness.
It’s important to know that narcissistic abuse can impact anyone, regardless of their age, gender, or background. It’s also important to recognize that emotional abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse.
If you or someone you know is experiencing narcissistic abuse, it’s important to seek help. At Emergence Psychotherapy, we are committed to assisting you in your journey toward healing. You can take the first step by booking an initial consultation with us.
